Doubling True Love

We all get into relationships to feel more true love and intimacy. But we often don't know what to do to feel more love. Are there some actions you can take to increase intimacy?

You can begin to double the amount of true love you feel starting today if you take the right actions. Some great relationship intelligence is to understand that you have the power to increase love in your relationship. There are actions you can take to do this.

While there are many actions you can take to add to the intimacy you both feel in your relationship, we'll focus on just one. And that is the act of Understanding.

Lets say your mate says that they are worried about a quarterly review they're about to get at work. They tell you that in passing. They don't look that worried to you, they look like they are in control, so you don't really discuss it with them.

But inside they are really afraid and worried. If you don't pay attention to their fear and discuss it with them they may feel slighted, like you don't really understand them. Because they don't feel heard and understood by you they may be hurt. This creates distance between you.

Here is some potent relationship advice: Feeling heard and understood is a basic human intimacy need.

Take time to make your mate feel heard and understood and make sure you feel heard and understood around any emotional issue and you will both feel more love and intimacy. If they ask for more help with the kids and all you do is shout out to them to "keep it down," your mate might not feel very heard and understood.

So you can increase the intimacy between you easily by making sure your partner feels heard and understood. One simple way to do this is to repeat back what you heard, and ask if you got it. So you want more help with the kids, is that right? What kind of help are you thinking? Feeding back what you heard and asking clarifying questions is a simple yet powerful act of intimacy.

And of course, the reverse is just as important. You need to feel heard and understood as well. When you have a concern ask your mate to listen like a good friend would then share. Tell them you don't them to solve your problem, you just want them to mostly listen. This helps train them to make you feel heard and understood.

We all talk to our mates many times a day, but we don't necessarily listen and understand each other all that often. Making sure you and your mate feel heard and understood on any issue and it will pay off in years of closer connection and feelings of intimacy.

Action Step:

1. Practice more small talk with your mate. Be interested in the details of their day. See how quickly you can add ten minutes of small talk to your day. While they talk, practice feeding back to them from time to time what you are hearing them say. Be interested in them and see what difference it makes to your feelings of true love.

True Love Advice