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True
Love Advice
True
Love Advice On Forgiveness
When it comes to true love, there are many useful
things to understand about conflict. A first one is that conflict is going
to happen in any love relationship.
Look. In life, stuff happens. In relationships, stuff definitely happens.
Sometimes we do things wrong. Sometimes our mates do things wrong. But
here's where a big problem comes in, and that's when, sometimes, we can't
let go of what we or our mate has done wrong.
You know, we keep thinking about how they said that to us, or they didn't
call us to tell us they'd be late, or they snapped at us and didn't
apologize. Things will happen in a committed relationship between two people
that are unpleasant. If we keep thinking about and getting upset about it,
the damage to the relationship grows.
For this reason, forgiveness becomes an important part of relationships. We
need to practice forgiveness to stay in love rather than fall out of love.
But how? How can you forgive when what happens keeps running through your
mind? When you still get so upset about it?
One way to forgive is to practice not taking what they did so personally.
This will help you to let go of it more readily.
What does this mean? It means that when they were rude or when they were
unthoughtful or when they yelled at you that it is about them, not about
you. They are trying, like all of us, to do the best they can. And, like all
of us, they get frustrated and upset and irritable about things from time to
time. And sometimes, they will vent or release that frustration all over
you. You just happened to be there!
If you can see that it wasn't so much about you, then you can let it go more
easily. And letting it go is forgiveness. Can you let go? That is the heart
of forgiveness. The past happened. You can't change that they yelled at you.
But you can let go of your anger that they did. You can choose how to
respond. You can choose how much anger to carry around.
You don't have to forgive. But have you noticed that if you don't forgive,
you are the one who is hurt? You are the one who is filled with anger and
irritation? Learning to let go and forgive helps you, which helps your
relationship.
True Love Action Plan:
1. Notice any pain that you feel around
conflict in your
relationship. It's all okay and normal.
2. See if you can practice not taking it so
personally.
3. Learn to reconnect quickly after arguments,
but give yourself time to forgive.
Remember, true love is your birthright. It is
what we all deserve. You don't have to wait for it, you don't have to
have the perfect lover. You can bring it. You can start loving
the people around you as they are. Allow the people in your life to be
the way they are, and the way they are NOT, and you begin to step into the
possibilities of generating more true love.
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